Joann Edwards

I Hear You!

Most of us can hear, but during a good storytelling conversation, we (should) move beyond hearing to really listening for what is being said. By working on the skill of listening, a leader is better able to connect and care for others more completely. Here are some thoughts on listening...

"What About Me?" no not selfish listening, more like internal listening. We are thinking about how what is being shared relates to us and working through how we will respond. A good leader will think at this level about things like:

1. What does this mean to me? and
2. How can I encourage this person? or
3. How can I relate my experiences to what is being said?

"What about them?" or externally focused listening. As you listen at this level, you should be able to ask questions that help you learn more about the person you are coaching. Learning to listen at this level will help you become a more effective leader. Ask questions like:

1. What does this mean for you?
2. How does/did this experience affect you?
3. How do you respond differently towards others because of your experience?

"All In" listening helps to get at the emotions being shared. This type of listening can lead you to an empathic relationship. Let's face it, most of us long to be understood.. Once you begin to "get" what the other person is feeling, they will begin to feel understood and the two of you can take it up a notch. Friends who I have this kind of relationship with are the ones I know, "have my back". This is, though the place where you begin to put yourself on the line as well, where honesty, vulnerability and authenticity come into play.  Have someone you're ready to go here with?

Sharing Stories

Our Network Services volunteer group includes Thursday mornings (when we provide childcare) and moms AND dads can come in to spend the morning volunteering around Keystone serving a variety of ministries while their little ones are looked after. Network Services volunteers also include a BUNCH of you who volunteer from home or stop in other days of the week in areas such as graphic design and promotions, web-wiki updating, database updating, stuffing and mailing, shopping.

One of the biggest things I've learned about you recently is that, even though many of you are quiet, behind-the-scenes kind of people, is that everyone (including me) needs to have a place (safe and welcoming) to share stories.

It's the piece we've added to our time together on Thursday mornings that's really put it into perspective for me. Even though our Thursday group is very task oriented and dedicated to processing all kinds of materials, to a person, we've welcomed making the time to share. And we've experienced God... in a dramatic way over just two weeks of prayer. Ask any Network Services staff (Carol, Sue or me) or a Thursday volunteer you know. We'll share AND invite you to join us. It's really not about the work (it gets done) its about the story.

Interested in (or maybe you already have a group and you're wondering how to incorporate story telling/sharing into it? Here are a couple things you can do:

1. Use the Big Idea materials as a starting place. It's what we do on Thursdays
2. Ask Good Questions like these
   
   1. How did you start coming to Keystone?
   2. Was church part of your life growing up?
   3. Who have been the most influential people in your life?
   4. What do you do for a living? Why did you choose that career path?
   5. What are some of the most memorable experiences you've had in life?
   6. When did Jesus first become real for you?

Next time: Learning to Listen

Finding Your Rhythm

If you want to be a difference maker for the long haul, you must discover the right rhythm for your life and live it consistently. So, what are the things that fill your tank?

Relationally
Who are the folks that build you up, encourage and challenge you?
Is there a healthy balance in your life between the people that drain you and those that are nurturing?
Are you protecting your schedule for those key relationships?

Physically
Are you protecting time for physical activities that energize you or time of rest that refresh you?

Mentally/emotionally
Are you taking regular breaks from the mental and emotional drains of ministry?
What activities are mentally restful for you? Make time for them in your schedule.

Listen to what God says...
"Come away with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and rest for a while." Mark 6:3

I had a great reminder this week about this topic. Thursday mornings Network administrative volunteers get together to serve AND run through the Big Idea together. Its a huge blessing to carve out that time from our morning to "chill" as one of the folks said this week. You see, many of the volunteers ALSO lead in other ministry areas and they (and we) welcome a time where we can take off our "leader" hats and instead share our lives with each other, praise God and spend time in prayer together. Its (and they) are a refreshing gift and blessing.

Do This TODAY

Think back through the events and circumstances of this day. Where was God trying to start a conversation with you?

What do you need in order to keep your heart intimate and in tune with God? (Spiritual disciplines). What obstacles seem to be in your way?

How can you build things that "fill your tank" into your schedule this next week? Start with some reflection and quiet time (check out the Leaders Journey questions below to get started).

A Leaders Journey #2

Set aside some time for reflection and use one of these questions as a guide in helping you discern a next step in your journey as a Christ-follower.

What step has God challenged you to take that you haven't yet (ie. reconcile a relationship, steps to share Christ with a friend, steps to get out of debt, etc.). Talk to God about that step and your reluctance to taking it. What could you begin doing right away to move towards obedience in this situation?

What would you like to see happen in your relationship with Jesus over the next year? What steps do you need to take towards that future?

What would you like to see happen in your family over the next year? What steps do you need to take towards that future?

What would you like to see happen in your career or in the ministry area that you serve over the next year? What steps do you need to take towards that future?

A Leaders Journey

Set aside some time for reflection and use one of these questions as a guide in helping you discern a next step in your journey as a Christ-follower.

What decisions (big or small) are you facing right now? Read James 1:5. Ask God to guide you with His wisdom in those decisions. As you quiet in your heart and listen, what steps do you sense the Holy Spirit prompting you to take?

Who are the people that have been on your mind the most lately? Ask God to show you if He is putting these people on your mind for a specific reason. Is there something He is prompting you to do for these people?

What have you heard recently (at a service, in your own studies, through the Big Idea or in conversation that has really stuck out in your mind? Why do you think the Holy Spirit wanted that thing to stick out to you? What step is God prompting you to take in response?

Read 1 John 1:9-10. Spend some time searching your heart. Ask God to show you any unconfessed sin in your life. Confess that sin to God and think about the steps you need to take to be released from the bondage of that sin.

Ask God to bring to your mind a command from Scripture that He wants you to pay attention to (look through Matthew 5-7 for inspiration). What steps do you need to take to live in obedience to this command?